0) Fred and George's Revenge (Oh Sweet Revenge!!)
by Translucent Reality
Summary: Well lets say it involves money, jokes, holidays, houses, tears, romance, relaxation, cars, and the idiot Malfoy!!!! The original wierd stories!!!!
1. Idiotically Important News!!!

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Fred And George's Joking Ground

"Those two boys are hopeless!" Mrs Weasley said as she put down the delicious Apple Pie on the table. Mr. Weasley just nodded and grunted. Harry and Ron dug into the delicious pie eating as much as they could.

"Where are they anyway?" Arthur Weasley asked.

"Have you been listening?" Molly said slamming down the pans in a flutter. "I CAN'T FIND THEM. They should have been back from this meeting thing hours ago! I shouldn't have let them go! What was I thinking?" Mrs. Weasley sat down and missed the chair narrowly, she fell to the floor and slammed her hand down in furry. Arthur helped her up.

"They will be back soon." He had no sooner said it when the front door burst open and Fred and George burst in.

"Guess what?!!!!" Fred said in pure delight.

"Mr. Booshee said our inventions were amazing so we sold some and made millions! MILLIONS! IN ONE AND A HALF HOURS!" 

The two twins hugged each other. 

"We set up a stall in Diagon Alley for a bit. We got 50,000 galleons! Can you believe it! In one and a half hours! We know have a shop there and we start work immediately from tomorrow isn't this exciting?!!!"

Arthur was white as a sheet.

"50,000 galleons? That's… amazing!"

"We gave 10,000 for the shop so we have machines to make our products!" 

Harry and Ron sat gobsmacked. They looked for Mrs. Weasley but she was lying on the floor in a dead faint. 

"Would you look at that." Fred said raising his eyebrow. "That shut her up!"

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Harry, Ron, Fred and George went up to bed after the news. Ginny was over at a friends for the summer which Harry found relieving. Fred and George had massive grins on their faces. After accommodating themselves in Ron's room. Ron went and came back later with Fred and George.

"What are you going to do with the money?" Ron asked Fred and George eagerly.

"Well." Fred said thoughtfully. "Where giving mum and dad a lot to pay off their debts." George continued by saying. "Where keeping a bit of it. And we want to fix up the house a bit, we are going to give some to you, Harry,"

"No!" Harry said. "Don't worry. There are more important people to give the money to."

"But Harry!" George began.

"NO" Harry said stubbornly. Fred and George sighed and carried on.

"I you insist." Fred said in mock sadness. "It only means we get more!" They all laughed.

"Go on!" said Ron "Your giving it to me…"

"Oh yes." Fred said impersonating Percy and sticking out his chest. They all started laughing again. "I'll say it simply." This took a god minuite to get through with all the laughter. "We are going to give some to all the family."

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Harry and Ron woke up next morning and went down to breakfast. 

"These summer holidays are going rather quickly aren't they!" Ron said merrily.

Mrs. Weasley was in the kitchen making bacon and eggs. She was humming the theme tune to who wants to be a millionaire. 

"Good morning Mrs. Weasley!" Harry said taking off his glasses and wiping his eyes. 

"Hi mum." Ron said as he sat down at the table. Mr. Weasley was already there reading the Daily Prophet.

"Good morning Harry, Ron." She said cheerily. "Bacon? Eggs?"

Once everyone was at the table including Ginny who had blushed rose red when she saw Harry. Mrs. Weasley stood up.

"We have an announcement." She said unable to stop smiling.

"Really?" George said a hint of sarcasm peeking in his mouth.

"I thought we were going to have a daily gathering to discuss how we were going to dispose of Percy." 

Everyone laughed apart from Percy and Mrs. Weasley. Percy stuck out his chest and said.

"I could call that a violation."

"Percy really!" Arthur said chuckling this is a family discussion. Percy frowned and slouched over his bacon and eggs.

"Continue Molly."

"As I was saying. We are going to move house! We have the money and this place is falling apart! Look at this." She grabbed the wall paper and pulled.

"Mum I tried that to get your attention to move house! It doesn't budge!" Fred said smiling.

"We don't need persuading! We are very happily out of here!" Ron and George said in unison.

"The thing is." Molly said swallowing. "We need a bit more money from you two.." Everyone looked at the twins. Fred and George looked at each other.

"Trust us mum. As long as we approve we will DEFINITELY give you the money!" Everyone gave a sigh of relief.

"But!" Fred said slyly. "We have to approve of the house and we get our own rooms!" 

"They have to join together though!" George added. "With onsuit bathrooms!"

"Woah!" Arthur began.

"It's not like your giving us THAT much money!"

"Who said?" Fred and George said together looking sly and innocent at the same time.

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The Weasley family and Harry walked into "houzeIt" the wizards housing society.

"Hello! Arthur!" A man with floppy brown hair walked towards Arthur. "How are you?"

"Fine, fine!" Arthur replied.

Several minuites later they were using flu-powder to reach what looked like the perfect house.

It was a Tudor Style house with big black beams and small windows. It had a thatch roof and many small windows. It had many window boxes with blossoming flowers. The garden was beautiful with a Quidditch Pitch at the back with a lake and small stream going through a rock garden leading to a water fountain which lead to a lake. There was also a swimming pool in the most peculiar shape Fred and George had ever seen. The front door was brown with a small window. The house itself was rather big. There were two staircases, one leading to one side of the house the other leading to the attic. The attic was the size of the entire house with a bathroom and balcony. The other staircase led to a hallway. On the right hand side where doors leading to bedrooms four to be exact each with a bathroom and balcony of it's own. The other side had small storage rooms and two big rooms. All the rooms were ornately decorated and the doors were white. Downstairs was divided into four rooms. A kitchen, a bathroom, a living room and a door leading from the kitchen which turned out to be a massive larder. They met outside the front door 1 hour later.

"We love this house." Fred, George, Ginny, Harry, Ron and Percy shouted across the garden to Molly and Arthur.

"Good." Mr. And Mrs. Weasley shouted back. "Because it's ours now!"

All the children looked at each other witch wicked faces. They ran into the house and too the nearest fire place. Fred took some flu powder from his pocket and threw it into the flames. In a whizz they were back at the Burrow.

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	2. Fred's Fun George's Horror!!!! (WARNING ...

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Fred And George's Revenge Part 2

The move was a long and lengthy process but it was soon taken care of. The Weasley's said goodbye to the Burrow and left very happily. Once they had reached the house for the billionth time, they all left their stuff in the hallway and went into the kitchen for some hot chocolate and tea.

"So." Molly began.

"So what?" said Fred looking rather happy.

"We haven't sorted out who wants which room." She said casually.

"Mother and Father!" Percy began. "Seeing as I'm in the ministry I think I should get the first choice."

"Excuse me." George said irritably. "WE paid for this house so we are going to choose FIRST." Fred smirked at Percy and Percy scowled.

"Fred and I have decided that we want the bigger two rooms in the west area, which means that I think you two." George said pointing at his parents "Should get the MASSIVE room in the east area."

"That's fine with us!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed smiling wearily. "I didn't want an argument!"

"Can I have the one furthest away from Percy?!" Ron asked eyeing Percy suspiciously. The whole table laughed including Percy (Which Ron found rather odd!)

"That would work!" Fred exclaimed with a smile. "Our rooms are the two middle ones, so you can go on the side Percy Isn't."

"What about me?" Ginny piped up from the corner. "I want a balcony!"

"Oh no!" Mrs. Weasley groaned.

"I will go in one of the rooms opposite. The other one can be…" Percy was interrupted 

"Our workshop room!" Fred said sternly.

"Fine!" Percy said outraged "I need a bathroom."

Fred and George smirked at Percy.

"Yes." They said in unison. "Your magester!"

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That night they went to bed early. They were worn out eve though they used magic. Harry and Ron however stayed up. The room was bare that they were in. Only two beds and two people were in the room.

"Let's go bring more stuff up!" Ron whispered. "I can't sleep in an empty room." 

Harry's stomach growled at him.

"Or an empty stomach." Harry added.

The pair of them crept down the spiral stone stairs. The floor was cold and made their feet tingle. They reached the main hall where their luggage was. But someone had beat them too it. Harry waved his hand at Ron to show him he was going to take a closer look and told Ron to stay where he was.

FREDS POINT OF VIEW:

So we were just getting some stuff to fill our empty boring room. AND THESE idiots came and bombarded us! They were making Indian noises and sounded terribly, terribly… what's the word for it? DUM and insane. The even stupider thing was that it was Ron!!!!!!! Lord help us I thought. What was Ron doing, running around the house at night pretending to be an Indian. I think the coffee went to his head. Stupid boy. Harry was with him as well. Honestly, you'd think they were in play school. Anyway Ron went Red as roses and Harry started laughing. Those stupid maniacs!!!

NORMAL VIEW

Fred, George, Harry and Ron sat in a heap in the middle of the floor. They untangled themselves and took their luggage upstairs which happened to be the next big problem!

"Oh Goodie!" said George in mock delight.

"I know a shrinking solution." Fred said. "It's in our Devious Dinkers!" 

"Well tell us then!" Ron moaned.

"I only know how to make the sweet,"

"Well that was bloody pointful wasn't it!" George pointed out irritably.

"Yeah well it was something to say!" Fred protested!

"I know." Harry said in a whisper. "We can put a feather light charm on it then I can fly it up through the centre."

"FINALLY!" Ron exclaimed "A DECENT IDEA!"

But it wasn't as decent as they had hoped! Harry's trunk was know a caterpillar with two legs. Ron was a dog and George was a flea!

"Oh double Goodies!" Fred mumbled under his breath. Once they had turned Ron back into a human. They started their search for George. 

***SEVERAL HOURS LATER***

They were still searching at 5:00am. 

"Stupid George I bet he is having a whale of a time!" Fred said with fake excitement

"Doubt it if he's a flea" Harry mumbled.

He brought the MicroFleascope over to the place Ron had been as a dog.

"I see a Flea!" Harry exclaimed.

"Was that the first one to climb mount everest?!" Ron asked.

"Stand back." Fred waved his hands and did a little charm. There was a cloud of smoke and a Lama was standing there looking very unimpressed.

Fred smiled wanly.

"Mc Gonagall would be impressed!"

"Lets leave him as a Lama!" Harry said laughing. "Give him a hat and sun glasses and you wouldn't know the difference!" 

All three of them burst into uncontrolled fits of laughter. In the end they carried their luggage up which was easier said than done. 

"Know George." Fred began. "Be a good Lama and pull our luggage upstairs."

"Fred." Said a very tired voice from the top of the stairs. "What are you doing lecturing a Lama?!"

Fred turned around to see Ginny at the top of the stairs.

"And why are you down there?"

"Never mind Ginny we will be up later." With that Ginny left and Fred carried on instructing George. Ten minuites later George the Lama was heaving trunks up the stairs. 

"Good Lama!" Ron said beckoning George up the stairs. "Stupid lama! Gullible Lama!"

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George had finally made it to the top of the stairs and all the luggage was off of his back. 

"Ooh!" Fred said an evil smirk played around on his face. "I know the perfect spell."

"Boodadadadadadadalleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaasssssssssstrrrrrrompede stupid LAMA!" In a flash a fancy saddle appeared on George's back. "Hop on people!"

Harry tied all the boxes to the end of the saddle and hopped on as Fred commanded. They rode him to Ron's bedroom first dropped off the luggage along with Harry and Ron. Then Fred rode off to his bedroom, showing off his skills on the way. That was until George swivelled round and caught Fred unawares, making him fall off with a PLOP! George then, stuck his tail in the air and strutted off down the hallway eyes closed. Until he walked straight down the stairs by mistake. Making George the lama and all Fred's luggage fall down the stairs.

"What a hectic night." Harry remarked with a shrug.

"Yeah." Ron said with a sigh.

There were a couple moments silence then Harry said;

"We don't need to help them do we?"

"Nah!" Ron said "They will be fine!"


	3. Umm... a very short chapter of bordum an...

The Unpleasant News…

**(This is a shame but don't let it ruin my story! ****J****)**

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The next morning was bright and sunny. Sunshine poured through the windows making Harry and Ron's morning start early, They got up with a yawn and the remembrance of the night before.

"I think last night was a dream." Ron said rubbing his eyes.

"Not because I don't want George to be a lama, but because Fred has never been that good at transfiguration… but that would explain why he couldn't turn him back into a person…" Ron pondered for a while,

"Nah!" He said looking rather relaxed. "It wasn't a dream!"

That morning was chaotic. The Weasley's were all panicking. Partly because Fred shouldn't have used magic that night and partly because they couldn't find George!

"Where is that stupid lama?" Mrs. Weasley said rather annoyed and red faced.

"He does have a name Molly!" Mr. Weasley reminded her. "He is our son."

"He would probably be ten times better as a lama though!" Molly roared.

Before more was said a knocking was heard at the door.

"You answer it!" Molly yelled from the kitchen. "If it's that LAMA don't let him get anywhere near me or we will have one less child!"

It was George, but he wasn't alone. Holding George by a rope stood…

"MALFOY!" Ron and Harry spluttered at the same time.

Malfoy stood there gaping at them in return. Malfoy got over it quickly remembering who he was and glared at Ron.

"I suppose this is… Harry's House. You Weasley's couldn't possibly afford it."

"Actually it is the Weasley's." Harry said dryly. Malfoy stood there mouth open yet again. He composed himself again and said casually.

"Your brothers won't even have a chance to start a joke shop. FG Jokers are the best, my father spent more than 500 galleons there."

Harry and Ron started laughing out loud. "What's so funny?" Malfoy asked looking rather annoyed. 

"That's how we bought this house then!" Ron said exploding with laughter at the look on Malfoy's face. He took the lama from his limp hand and closed the door on Malfoy's face. 

An hour or two later all the Weasley's (including George who only had a tail now.) Were sitting round the table laughing. They couldn't believe that the Malfoy's hadn't noticed they were running the shop. The day soon turned into night and Harry and Ron went to bed early. Fred and George however went to bed much later. Down the hallways and in their room, some lousy business was going on.

"Goggles"

"Check"

"Malfoy detester spray!"

"What the hell do we need that for?"

"Glue"

"What kind of a mission are we going on?"

These muffled voices came from their room. Around an hour later two figures came out of the room talking in disguised German voices. Fred now had brown hair and no freckles and George was a blonde eyed blue haired boy!! (the spell went a tiny bit wrong, but it was just going to have to do!) They snuck through the corridor.

AN: imagine some sneaky pink panther music in the background!

They spun round the corners looking left and right. If they were on a comedy show they certainly would have been they centre of it. They looked like a pair of geeks going scuba diving in a school. After exiting their working home they turned into a driveway with a black plaque reading "Malfoy Manor" George snickered and Fred gave him 'the look!' Together they snuck past security cameras and ran up to the back door, the lights were on but all was clear. George got out his wand and shouted;

"Mooster Loose" he waved his wand and the door turned pink and frilly, 

"Oh well done peebrain" Fred said sarcastilcly, Fred pushed George aside with an 'oof' and unlcocked the door himself. He opened it and the two of them crept in, however they got no-where because Mr. Luscius Malfoy was blocking their path.

AN: Im sorry this patheticly small chapter took so long 2 write I hav been on holiday!!! I am leaving you at a cliffhanger!! mwahaha

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